Oh my!!! IT'S FINALLY OVER FOR NOW!!! I FINALLY DIED DRAGGING MY STUPID FEET OUT OF THE HOUSE TO NTU FOR MEDICAL CHECKUP! Oh my!!! I thought I wouldn't even have the guts to step out of the house at all! Not even 1% of a chance.

I tell you! In my whole life, I have never HESITATED for so long whether want to go or not for whole 2 weeks without a good night sleep. I seriously need a GOOD SLEEP LATER! It's a serious chaos in my mind that I can really go CRAZY. It's a kind of phobia. People take it easy on that, but I can't. That's weird!

But anyway, was walking out for 1 min the brain already start to give signal to the feet,"GO HOME PLEASE!". It was a really conflict between me and myself. Sounds impossible but yeah. Took around 1 hour plus to reach there. It's very very far! *and Alvin called asking about the pay for invigilation* -.-|

Hahaha!!! First thing, "Sorry you cannot go in! 37.6C" I was "quarantined" for 10 mins blow fan + air con! Very shiok! But very suay, blame on the weather! It's terrible. Oh yeah, reminds me of something. Lose weight over the 3 years, SO THE NOT POSSIBLE LAH when I don't even exercise, everytime eat Macdonald almost like a lot of days. Jialat! Underweight! UNDERWEIGHT!!! How could it be!!! MUST EAT MORE! Then wait for 45 mins almost 1 hour. All my hands and feet went totally numb.

Can imagine that doctor buay tahan me for twice holding breath like oxygen not enough in the air till he said "Come, let's do breathing exercise!" *THUNDERSTORM* SO PAISEH!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARH!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY NEED TO FIND A BIG BIG HOLE AND DIG MY HEAD INSIDE!!! 做人也做得彻底失败！！！A person playing in band one don't know how to BREATHE PROPERLY!!! ARH!!!! I might as well bang the wall and die!!! I bet people will be laughing at me for such a small thing!!! But really, can't believe is my biggest fear!!! -.-

Other than that, nothing much happened badly after that. Just forget to hand in the form to the Student Service Center. Need to go down another day! Puala NTU, can't they just build it in the middle?!?! *Throw stones*

Went for band. One word "BORING!"

ARH!!! MADNESS!!! After struggling for so long, I still cannot take it though is like a tiny winy small thing. Why? What's bothering so much that I cannot take it for years? Is that what makes me a pessimistic person? Still feeling unease after so much talking to people around, it comes back. Where's all my courage gone to!?!? My hands and feets are turning cold again. Move it!!! Move it! I need to go on!!! What the hell am I fearing about? I need to divert my attention somewhere, it's making me go endless sleep! =.=

Sadly, the only place to escape my thoughts is every band practice though got that stupid baka moron person in front. At least, band don't give me burden nowadays. FREED! That's what I wanted, no more nonsense, no more problems. Every practice is just to come and go off. Got commitment but no involvement.

Haha... Still need a bit more time to calm myself down. Perhaps, I would be "Alright" by the time the night comes.

Erm... Yeah... I shouldn't think so much, just go with the flow...

Rainy Days. Feels great. Ought to really appreciate this days because it's a hard to come by thing. Nowadays, Singapore weather is getting hotter and hotter. I don't hate the sun but I think the heat is a bit too much for me.

NTU send letters. Haiz... Troublesome! Sinfonique on 10th July. After that, it's a never ending nightmare. Orientation camp on 14-18 July. I guess is staying overnight. But how can!?! 19 July flying off to Netherlands. Crazy arh! Those stuffs are really trying to suffocate me to DEATH! Come back already 29th July. 15 days of torture. Then another orientation on 6 August and then school starts! SO FAST!!! And they send the student union. So funny lah, religion brochures also inside. GOING AGAINST ME!!?!? WAIT TILL I GO THEIR CLUB AND PROMOTE FREE THINKER! LOL! XD Joking...

Anyway... Happy birthday HasnizA! XD

哈哈哈！我人缘有够烂！！！

Proving something isn't working much, just that he never come and annoy me for the moment. Seems that some things can't be changed, just leave it to be unless there's something else happened. Better not be bad one! Obviously, the person's eyes grew on the head. Some more plaster paste on the eyes. The brain is only IQ high EQ = 0. No wonder offend so many people!

"Eh.. EH... Talk about him need to use brain one meh? Just the mouth will do the job!" Tsktsk... No wonder no wife! HAHAHA!

Time to wake up from my dreams... It's giving me all the weirdest thoughts and nightmare recently, making myself being not able to sleep. Time to focus and overcome the fears, no more escaping from reality.

Time to divert my attention to somewhere else.

Anyway, found from the internet to do a music playlist. Cool! Just that need a bit of time to process because not very familiar with all those programming stuffs. Took me quite a while to read to understand what rubbish the script is writing before editing. But too bad, some hosting problem in fileden, have to switch to geocities. Pathetic! But nevermind, so long it works.

Yesterday was tempting to do something funny, photos. Couldn't help by laughing but didn't really post everything up. Must keep some for myself. Anyway, some photos are quite paiseh...

Ohya...

"Hasniza, don't need to pass me your thumbdrive already, I found the ost online. Thanks anyway!"

And now For today's HIGHLIGHTS:

> "Hmm... XOxoxOXxOxoXoXoOXO?!?!?" Watched those NG parts. Can't understand Korean language... Nevermind, had never decide to pick that language up. I am relying on subtitles instead.


> Can't imagine so soon that July is coming! Sheesh, grow one year older soon... Still living in my world of thoughts up till now.

> WHAT?!? The guy sitting beside me is SIDM animation course year 1 guy? Can give me a few seconds to stun...


*STUN*


LOL! Would probably stop writing rubbish after that...

流星花园花样男子太好笑。

Okay okay... I mean that Korean version of the boys over flower is hilarious though such thing doesn't exist in the world, I hope it does so that I can laugh like the whole day. Everyday sounds drama. The girls crowding at the side would get so excited over those guys. I bet the NG one is funnier than ever. Ah well, it only exists in drama....

Yesterday choing 10 hours straight of 9 episodes. Almost want to cry while watching but can't, because of that sad sad music and that scene!!! LOL! Still have 2 more to go... :)

Lesson learnt: Don't swallow saliva till you choke and cough during the concert... XD

Wahaha... Speaking about that reminds me of stuff. I supposed it's good to draw a line between people and people, either way. When people know you too much, that will be definitely bad. Or so as to say, I aren't good at keeping friendship, that's why I don't have much long lasting friends.

There's no such thing as best friend, even if you regard them as one, they may not regard you as one too. Even if there are people who believes in that, I chose not to believe anymore...

哪怕有一天别人反而刺你一刀。

But still, I would believe that close friends exist no matter what.

*INSTANT KO*

Zzz...

麻烦！！!一点都不想开学!

A FAILURE... Maybe 10 more years of life span?

I don't deny the fact that I am overreacting most of the time, there's only one thing I cannot control. Emotion.

No matter, happy, sad, serious, not serious, normal, abnormal, tired, energetic and etc. That's still me. Everyone does have that, it's just which side of the personality are we facing to.

*I stared at that peeling right hand of mine getting so serious that I could actually see the bones and the muscles in it. It's kind of bloody but not rotting at the point of time. The thick layer of skin was left dangling by itself, it was not painful at all.

And yet, my lao pa used his ultimate weapon, the "SUPERGLUE", and glued the edge of the skin back its original place. It was kind of gross! He managed to stick some parts of the skin back, and i had to hold onto those skin, hoping that it would just stick. But the more he did it, the more the skin cracks up till my wrist. No matter how hard he tried, it just keep on peeling... I remember those long looking paperclips left outside... "Was it supposed to be my bone fingers??? Eh, then what's this white colour bone doing inside my hand? Hm...?!? Maybe it was supposed to be the support of those fingers."

And I wondered, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAY MY CLARINET WITH MY RIGHT HAND LOOKING LIKE SOME MONSTERS WHEN WMC IS COMING!!!*



Wait a minute! Was there something that could replace new skin in real life?




...

Finally in peace... FOR NOW ONLY! Phew...

Speaking of that, after sectional, went to makan and GOSSIP! Excited excited!!! Maybe I aren't no lvl 100 auntie like most of them. At most level 1 because I only know 1. Hahaha!!! Sheesh! Something must be so wrong! Why didn't I know so much about who's scandal with who?!? Shocking, stunning, interesting, typical news about scandals. Okay... Keep it a secret, but anyway, would forget after that unless someone mention again...

Wahaha... How to grow taller?!?

Muahaha... I guess I am the most evil person in the world ever. Suddenly, those primary school people wants to meet up after 7 years of not seeing each other. My first thought was "Is this necessary?"

Kind of felt very weird to reply anything because I totally have no contacts at all. Sorry to say, I don't feel that important to go because in the end, I might be talking to the wall instead of people. I guess it will make me feel more awakened. By just guessing the name, I would have embarrass myself first.

Coming from a same primary school but a different secondary school, everything changes. Hahaha! I can't be bothered anyway.

Okay change topic! Anyway, watch "Only Yesterday" by Studio Ghibli. It's about the girl's childhood and etc. Go and watch yourself!

Had band today, kind of messy everywhere. I guess too much change attract too much attention here and there. I shall keep myself hidden in the jacket!

Tomorrow is yet another sectional day...

Erm... Had sectionals yesterday with only like 6 other people. Yeah, nothing much happened.

Watch Studio Ghibli film because someone wants to. I ended up sleeping on the sofa while watching the show because was too tired to watch anything. Woke up 1 hour later but the show wasn't finished yet.

Today is yet another korean day shows. Cool, overseas scenes are nice! LOL! And read "absolute boyfriend" manga online. It's a bit too much of a relationship scene like the boyfriend go naked or whatever a better term is called. Hm... It took me a while when I realised I am reading something not so "clean". LOL! I guess people are going to call me horny when I write this. But when people says that, they are horny too! LOL!

Sadly, that boyfriend is just a robot and he dies. But aiya, another guy of hers came back to take care of her... -.- You know how cool are those guys?!?! LOL! I bet is the hairstyle that the author drew makes them look cool!

Knowledge of dirty stuff = almost 0. Too dense but who cares! It's not going to help me score in exams!

Getting too late...

Back from Malaysia... Was indeed a GRRRREAAAT holiday trip to genting and malacca after 5 years though not all my family members went plus my uncle's family. A lot of things happened but just lazy to write much.

Woah, almost a lot of things changed from the time we went till now. More attraction and rides I can say, more places to eat, shop and whatsoever. Okay, at least the weather there is quite cooling but the sun is exactly like singapore? Got sunburn again. LOL!

Took my uncle's car. But first place we went makan was... "KFC" at somewhere after Malacca. Spoil mood sia. -.- But anyway, got young kids along so no choice.

Back to that first night, my family and my uncle encourage me to try going into the casino though I underage. Sheesh! Just miss that 1 year and the 1 month! I tried... "Tehh..." That metal detector detected my phone! The police looked at me. "Can I look at your passport?" LOL! Then my sis came in to defend but anyway, didn't manage to get in. HAHAHA! Wait till next year bah! XD Anyway, I hate the smoke there.

Went to indoor arcade, some games were quite retarded and we could just easily get at least 30 - 50 tickets. But things are quite expensive now. 3 credit per game. No more token. But cool. Realised that our arm strength not as good as the leg after playing for 2 rounds. Played other games instead.

Okay that's all for today! :)

Silence...